In discipline we are teaching our children two things which are: A desirable behavior and an undesirable behavior. As parents it’s our duty to set up a discipline strategy for teaching our children and it should be the one that suits us as well. In the first part of this article “Positive Child Guide Reward 1″ I suggested the best and powerful teaching strategy for teaching a child a desirable behavior, which I called ” Positive Reward” but is unfortunate that is the one parents use least. Parents do use it, but they do misuse it, they do the exact opposite by given out a positive reward for an undesirable behavior and some parents don’t even know how to set up one.
To go ahead, a Positive Child Guide Reward is a setup little or small reward (gift) given to a child at the outcome of every desirable behavior. Here are the question you might have and the answers:
How can I avoid the mistake of given out a positive reward for an undesirable behavior?
How do I setup a positive reward for a child and at any age?
Setting up a “Positive Child Guide Rewards”: You can setup a positive reward at any age, although the earlier you start, the easier it will be. When we are talking about designing or setting up a positive reward for a child, we are talking about the child’s actions not his feelings.
I want you to understand that, to set up this, you need to make a clear-cut distinction between a child’s feelings and actions. What I mean by feelings is the internal states of emotion such as(joy, love, anger, excitement, sadness and fear). This is the child’s private world, there is nothing parent can do to change or influence it. When a child, feels sad or excited or fearful or angry, he or she cannot help feeling that way because the child is not responsible for his feeling, they come into his mind unbidden.
Based on child’s actions, these are outward event, I mean observable events that are subject to control. A child can stop himself from stealing toys, hitting other children, throwing stones or sand at other children, but when it comes to feelings, a child cannot help feeling angry or sad.
Although, parents can do little to influence a child’s feelings, but they can do a great deal to influence a child’s actions. Now, when talking of setting up a positive child guide reward, we are talking of actions not feelings, that is you deal only with actions that are observable. Actions you can see and count, actions you want to change in the child.